Tuesday, November 30, 2010


I only have 8 radiation treatments left :) It really has gone by so fast...though I thought it was going to crawl by. After Im done with radiation I have to wait 2 months and then have a PET/CT Scan so that they have a baseline to go off.

With that being said if we wait until then to have a scan done it will  be about 5 1/2 months since my last scan and since I had that little spec in my right lung on that scan we cant wait that long because although they/we think its not of concern we don't want any surprises. Im have a CT Scan of just my chest on Thursday at 8am. Please pray for us and for good results because as always when it comes to the tests I'm a bit nervous yet still confident in Gods plan. Thank you!

Thanksgiving 2010

We went camping over the long Thanksgiving weekend in our trailer to Parker, Arizona. It was a really nice weekend away. We had a campfire every night and relaxed.  My Uncle Israel deep fried the turkeys and they were they best I've ever had. 

My love and I hanging out in our trailer
Half of the Thanksgiving Crew
We rode dirt bikes out there. This is me on the kids quad :)
 My super handsome hubby!
 My funniest and cutest cousin Travis!
We hung out by the campfire

and Jack had such a fun time too!
 Jack sleeping with Daddy :)
 We had a great time with family...so thankful for all the special people in my life. Im blessed!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

This Thanksgiving I'm Thankful For.....

This Amazing Man....
Nathan has been my rock.my lover.my best friend.This past year has definintely rocked our boat a bit but not our marriage or love for each other. Nathan has been so strong and just there for me. He amazes me everyday in everything he does....Im so lucky to call him MY husband and wake up to him every morning...Im sooo blessed.

Our Angel Baby that is in heaven
This is one of the hardest things for me to talk about especially on the blog but I've tried to be so honest on this blog the whole time and I couldn't tell you what I was thankful for without mentioning our Angel Baby that literally saved my life. Our baby was here for such a short time to save my life and then went back up to heaven. Nathan and I are eternally grateful and cant wait to meet he/she one day in heaven :) It makes my heart very happy thinking about him/her. Very Thankful!!!!  

My Family
I cant say enough of the support and love from my parents and brothers. This year would have been so much harder if it wasn't for them. Im so so so so thankful for them.

Momma J
She's been there for both Nathan and I. She lets us just talk when we need to talk and talks to us when we just want to listen. Im very thankful for her love and support.

My Faith
Where would I be without the love and grace of the Lord. Im amazed daily at his peace and comfort. Prayer is amazing and I'd hate to walk this journey and battle without his love and guidance. I just wouldnt be able to do it. Im thankful we are saved!

My Cancer....
***Sorry about the graphic picture but this blog is me and this is my reality.***
This was taken the day of my surgery when the tumor was taken out. At the time we had no idea it was cancer but my life changed a week later. This news was devastating but I knew Id get through it..with my faith and love from others I'd put this in my past. Although Im still in that battle Im at a good place and feel like Im on my way to recovery. But cancer has taught me to love deeper, appreciate more, pray harder, forgive easier and those are things that will never be taken away from me. Im forever thankful for that.

Lastly, Im thankful for you...If you're reading Im thankful, if you're praying Im even more thankful. The support and prayers from family, friends and people I don't know brightens my day and makes this journey so much easier. I appreciate it more than ya'll will ever know. I pray and hope no one ever has to go through this journey but the only way you'd know my deep appreciation for the love, support and prayers is if you did walk in my shoes for a day. Thank you so much!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Radiation Burn

Well after 25 treatments its pretty clear I've got a burn from the radiation :(  It started a little over a week ago  and gets a little redder everyday. Today was my last treatment of the big range (which is basically what you see that is red), Tomorrow starts the smaller range or target area (which is whats outlined in sharpie). I'll do that for more 12 treatments then I'm done :) I didn't meet with the doctor today because he was in a conference but I'll meet with him tomorrow and talk to him about the redness. Its also starting to swell a little bit at the base of my hand so I'll talk to him about that also. Please pray that the swelling goes down..I can deal with the burn and the pain from that but the swelling is not good at all. Please pray its just from irritation and not fluid retention.  I get four days off from radiation because we are going camping at the river...it'll be nice and it will give my arm a break...thanks for the prayers!!!!

Lunch Date

Nathan's Mom and I met up with my mom and some other friends today at Olive Garden for lunch. Super yummy! I have some updates about radiation and pictures of my poor little hand that is turning super red. I'll post those later!

Sunday, November 21, 2010


Last Monday we had the chance to go to Disneyland with our good friends who were visiting from Arkansas, Richard and Keely and their daughter Kaelynn. We had the best time. It was so nice to visit with our friends who we hadnt seen in a long time. They're a lot of fun :)

Us with Kaelynn

Nathan & his Best Friend Richard
Haunted Mansion
 Small World
*** All photos courtesy of Keely :) I took my camera but left the battery in the charger at home :( ***

Friday, November 19, 2010

4th Surgery in 4 Months....

I had my 4th surgery in the last four months yesterday and that was to have my medi-port taken out. The surgery was done by a cardiothoracic surgeon at St Jude. The surgery went fine and I wasnt even nauseous waking up from anesthesia....PRAISE THE LORD!!!! Im in some pain today but other then that I'm good! Im really praying this will be my last one for a long while :)

Here I am Pre-Surgery!

At radiation today I had my boost done which  means they took film to start to shorten my target area for radiation which makes me very happy because my palm is getting pretty red.  I have 3 more treatments that are the large area then they will just target my scar from where the tumor was removed.  I will do 12 more treatments like that which will make it a total of 37 treatments.  

Thank you for the continued prayers...Im feeling them :)

Weekend at My Aunts

Last week we spent the weekend at my Aunt Jory's house. She is a breast cancer survivor so its always so uplifting and inspirational to spend time around her. Her house is so fun and she always makes us feel so welcome. My parents went up with us too. We had a nice relaxing weekend and even celebrated my birthday again with smores :) Too much fun!!!!

I didnt take any pictures with my camera...only my blackberry...so here they are....

Her Dog, Buster & I
Dad, Jory & CJ
 Beautiful fire...so soothing & relaxing!!!!
 Sunday afternoon watching the Cowboys WIN!!!!!  :)

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Been Super Busy!

Im still here...still doing good...radiation is good...we've just been super busy. I have a lot to share not really on the cancer side of things but other fun stuff we've being doing. Visit to my aunts for the weekend. Disneyland. Getting things ready for Nathan's mom visit. Womens night at church. Spending time with friends who are visiting from Arkansas.We've just been going non-stop. I'll be back and post soon with pictures and an update! I didn't forget about my blog :)  Hope all is well with ya'll!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Prayer Quilt

The day I was diagnosed with cancer my mom wrote a prayer request in to our church.  Those first few days are still a blur to me but I remember our Pastor coming over to my parents and praying for us, praying for healing, peace and comfort.  Shortly after a small group from our church that makes prayer quilts contacted my mom and asked if they could make one for me. What a blessing.  They asked my favorite color and of course she said pink :) About a week or so later the quilt was out at church for people to pray for me over and tie a knot. I remember seeing it at church for the first time and balling my eyes out. It was hard to see a quilt for me but I was also so moved by the amount of people that would be praying for me. I received the quilt just a couple weeks later and it is now downstairs where I see it everyday and feel so blessed for every knot that was tied and for every prayer thats behind that knot.  

Each knot represents a prayer that was said for me :)

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

My Birthday Weekend :)

I had an amazing birthday weekend thanks to my wonderful hubby & family! In the weeks leading up to my birthday, I was so uncertain as what I wanted to do.  I knew we were going to the Alan Jackson concert but I wasn't too sure what else to do since that wasn't specifically for my birthday. So we just ended up going to dinner with my family and ate yummy cupcakes. Perfect. Simple. Amazing.

My hubby & family had also been asking me for weeks what I wanted for my birthday and I came up with nothing.  After going through all I've gone through in the past 3 months, material possessions mean absolutely nothing to me. I'll be honest and admit that I use to love nice "things". My closet is filled with name brand purses and designer jeans, thats just who I was. My hubby spoiled me like crazy and I liked it. But, a few days after I was diagnosed I sat in our closet (my favorite praying spot) and just cried and cried and cried. Here I was surrounded with everything I could ever want but I have cancer and all these "things" mean absolutely nothing. Don't get me wrong these "things" didn't consume me...I've always been a huge family person and always about making memories but I think this cancer has put my life into perspective.  Im so very thankful for that.  The littlest things mean the most to me know...and Ive learned quickly thats the way life should be...it should have always been that way and I feel lucky Im given this opportunity to realize that.

Anyway here are some pictures of my fun birthday weekend.

Friday after radiation we headed down to LA Live to hang out & eat before the concert.
Having drinks at the Yard House.
Alan Jackson
Loving the concert

Sunday was the day we went out to dinner. We took a few pictures at my parents before we left.
at Joe's Crab Shack.
I was one happy camper :)
My actual birthday, Monday with my Momma & Aunt Susan

All About My Radiation Treatments....

*** Thank you so much for the birthday emails, texts, phone calls and facebook comments! I felt so much love yesterday and I thank you , thank you , thank you for that. I had a great day! I'll post more about my birthday weekend later on this week :) ***

On Monday I completed my 16th of 38 radiation treatments. It is still going really well. Todays radiation was cancelled because the machine went down. It was ok with me because my arm is starting to turn a little pink so it was a nice break. Here is the the difference between my two arms...its kind of hard to tell where it is starting to turn pink in this picture but here it is:
Last Friday, Nathan and my Mom & Dad went with me to radiation.  The staff is so nice there and let them all come back as they were setting me up so they all can see what I do five days a week :) They even let my mom take pictures so we can show ya'll what it looks like...

First they check my marks and make sure none of the tapes need to be replaced..then they start to line my tattooed dots up. These molds are the ones that were made for me when I first started the set-up process.  
Replacing tape....
 Getting ready to do more placement..they are so precise!
This is how I lay during treatment. They are adjusting my hand/wrist/forearm. 
They tape my arm down to the table in 3 spots, raise me up and I get treatment from the bottom as well as from above...then Im done until the next day :)
 I do x-ray film on Monday and Thursdays so on those days they do everything the same they just take an x-ray before they give me treatment and have the dr check the film to make sure everything is lined up correctly then they give treatment.

I am thankful the whole process isn't too bad and pretty tolerable :)

Monday, November 8, 2010

Happy New Year!!!

Maybe it isn't what all of you consider to be the new year, but it is Ness's birthday and with that we will say good riddens to her past year of life!!! To recap she had three surgeries, a car totaling wreck, too many appointments with specialists to count, started radiation, and had many life changing discussions with physicians and family. Sounds pretty rough and it was, but let us not forget all of the good things we leave behind with the last year: Hurdles were placed in front of us in our relationship and we cleared them only to be more in love, Vanessa found a renewed and strengthened faith in God, she found out just how many people love her (a lot), and she became so strong. I have never had the opportunity to watch someone grow up as fast and as gracefully as she did! It was truly amazing to watch while all of these bad things kept happening and she just kept getting tougher and more grateful. When so much weight is put on a persons shoulders in such a small period of time one of two things usually happen... They get crushed or they get strong and like I said she got real strong!

So for her birthday this year I got her a Coach purse, an iTunes card, my continuously growing love, and absolutely ALL of my respect!

Also in the past year she became a fan of seafood (told you it wasn't all bad) so last night we went with her family to Joe's Crab Shack to eat some tasty crab legs! Delicious!

Thank you all for providing myself and my wife with incredible emotional support over the last few months! It has been unbelievable and we are both so grateful for all of you!


Tuesday, November 2, 2010

My Sweet Momma...

My Momma has been so strong and so supportive for me through this troubling & trying past few months.  Since my radiation started not a day goes by that she doesn't text or email before my treatment for the day to wish me luck and let me know she's praying for me.   When she's out and about she always picks up little gifts that mean so much.  Here are a couple of them......

A card to carry in my wallet to remind me God is always with me!

Two little rings to also carry around with me...the one on the left has the yellow ribbon
which represents sarcoma cancer. 
Its the little things that mean the most to me now.