Halloween

We had a blast this Halloween. We went to my parents for a little party and bonfire! So much fun with family and friends.  I was a Dr. and Nathan was my patient! Its funny because hubby is a nurse so I used all his stuff and Im so injury prone he used my stuff....ace wrap, sling, and crutches! haha! We reversed roles for the day :)

I start week 3 of radiation tomorrow and its going really well.  Only 5 1/2 to go :)

Have a great week!!!!

Sweet Card...

Nathan's mom, Momma J, sent this sweet card to me the other day. This journey isn't always easy but I love the reassurance of support and God's grace. It makes it so much better :)

God has not promised
skies always blue,
flower-strewn pathways
all our lives through;
God had not promised
sun without rain,
joy without sorrow,
peace without pain.


But God has promised
strength for the day,
rest for the labor,
light for the way,
Grace for the trials,
help from above,
unfailing sympathy,
undying love.

The Lord is so good and faithful!!!


HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

Thankful Thursday!

I have so much to be thankful for. Here are just a few for Thankful Thursday.....

My wonderful Hubby.
In these past 3 months we have definitely faced the biggest challenges of our lives thus far. It hasn't been easy but Nathan has been so strong for me. He has been right by my side the whole time and I am so thankful and blessed to call him my husband.

My Supportive Family
My parents and brothers are such a strong support system for us. They hurt when we hurt, they're happy when were happy, they listen when we need to talk...they're just there and we couldn't be more grateful for all their support.

Our little doggy Jack
I know he's just a little animal but there's something about his innocence about not knowing all thats going on that I love. He's the same ole little Jack :)

My Faith
Im thankful that I have the Lord by my side for every step of this journey and that my life has already been planned out. I try not to worry about things and have complete faith. He is good and faithful and I am so thankful for that.

Prayers
I am so thankful for all the prayers being said for me and my family. There are so many people that don't know me personally but still pray. Amazing!

Future Visitor
Nathans Mom is coming out for two whole weeks from Nashville and we couldn't be more excited. We last saw her when I had my ectopic pregnancy surgery in July. She came out the minute she found out about it. We're thankful for her support and are glad we get to spend so much time together soon.

***Side note: Im not a fan of either team in the World Series (We're big Angels fans) but Im rooting for the California Team..So Go Giants!!! This is Momma J and I at McCovey Cove!***

Cheers to the Start of Week 2 ;)

I started week 2 of radiation today. It's getting easier. I think each time I go I'm finding a more comfortable position to lay in. Today wasn't too bad! I met with the Dr. after my treatment. Its something I'll do every Monday during treatment. He just checked my skin for irritation from the radiation and checked the movement in my wrist and hand. All checked out fine.  So now week 2 is in full swing :)

We had a relaxing football watching filled weekend. We only left the house to go out to dinner Saturday night. It was rainy all weekend and perfect stay-in weather.

This is our sweet doggy, Jack. I don't think he's been on the blog yet. 

He enjoyed us staying home all weekend too :)

 Have a good week & God bless!!!

Another Inspirational Bedtime Blessings

Another reading from the Bedtime Blessings book that really spoke to me...thought I'd share.

We know the sovereign Potter is working with us as He pleases. He is the Potter, we are the clay. He is the one who gives the commands; we are the ones who obey. He never has to explain Himself; He never has to ask permission. He is shaping us over into the image of His Son, regardless of the pain and heartache that may require. Those lessons are learned a little easier when we remember that we are not in charge, He is.

You are our Father
We are the clay, and You our potter; 
and all of us are the work of Your hand.
Isaiah 64:8 

Radiation

I had my 4th radiation treatment today and its going good. The drive is about 50 miles round trip so that isn't so fun but I go during a time of day when there is no traffic either direction which is pretty amazing being that this is Southern California we're talking about. Im starting to get used to it. They still have to line me up just right, take film each time, find the Dr., he approves the placement, and then treatment begins. So its about a 30 minute process once I get back in the radiation room.

These past few days have been a little hard on me and I find myself needing to reach out and rely on my faith and know that God's plan for my life is in action no matter how much I dislike that plan right now. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still scared but when I sit back and look at the big picture Im not so frightened. Things aren't that bad. They could be way worse. I have a loving and super supportive husband, an amazing family, a place to sleep at night, food to eat, clothes to wear, a car to drive, Im happy, Im not on my death bed, so many of my prayers have been answered and the list goes on & on. Im blessed. At times when this all seems too much to handle I think of all that I do have and I don't feel so bad or sad after all.  God is good and faithful. Last weekend my aunt shared a little saying with me and its helped me through the hard times this week.

I cant, He can, So let him its just like another one of my favorite sayings Let go & Let God


I've learned we weren't meant to go through life's hardships alone. He's right by our side, helping us.  I turn my fears and problems to him when I feel I cant handle them because I know he can. I know this week has been harder because its new and I have to get used to this adjustment..I know it'll get easier with time.

This is what my radiation machine looks like. Its called a linear accelerator. The first time I walked into the room I was a bit intimidated by this huge machine and the 15 inch thick door for the room but now its no big deal :) I lay on the table on my stomach with my arm above my head and get my treatment. I feel no pain during or after my treatment. Its not so bad !

I go tomorrow for my last treatment of the week. Then it'll be 1 week down, 6 1/2 to go :)

1st Radiation Treatment Down...About 37 To Go!!!!

I had my first radiation treatment done today. There really wasn't much to it just positioning and then staying still after that.  I didn't feel anything. It wasn't too bad.  I think I was a little more emotional then I thought I would be. I tried to be strong and think I did a pretty good job. Its just get to be a little overwhelming sometimes but I'm ready for this new journey into radiation and recovery. The staff at my radiation office is super nice and make everything really comfortable for me. So my 1st treatment is down about 37 to go :) Thanks for continuing to pray for me.

Family Brings Normality Back...

Its seems like lately my weekdays have been filled with Doctors appointments and tests. Thats not the life Im used to. Im slowly starting to adjust but this isn't my "normal before cancer" life by any means.  Sometimes it feels like I'm living someone else's life. Its really weird and hard to explain. But anyway we spent the weekend with family and that makes my life feel "normal" again. Things are still as they were before my diagnosis besides the quick updates on where the treatment plan is.  Its normal. I laugh with my hubby, tease my aunts (right??!? ahahaha) , cook with my momma, have a drink with my dad, tell jokes with my brothers, and spend time with my grandparents and cousin.  Life is good. Im blessed. Im happy.

Aunt Jory, Me, Aunt Marla & Mom

We made tamales on Friday and enjoyed eating them on Saturday!

I got to spend a lot of time with this sweetie pie!

The boys in our family got a chance to visit and catch up

***I also got the chance to meet a couple friends of my dad. He knows them through work. Their names are Bart & Stacie and they have been praying and following my journey from the beginning often offering very encouraging words to me here on the blog. It was so nice to finally meet them in person and thank them for their prayers and support.***

Sunday morning we went to my cousin, CJ, cross country track meet

you cant see it in this picture......

But you can in this one...he ran with my bracelet around his ankle..such a sweet kid!

He did amazing also!

Sunday night we spent time with our neighbors and great friends, James, Rebecca and their baby Cole. Again it felt so nice to be normal again and hang out like old times. 

Im thankful for weekends like these that remind me of what great love and support I have around me in family and friends. And just because I have a yucky disease doesn't mean my life cant be back to normal.  Even though normal now is so much different because I view life so much different. Im thankful for all I've learned through God so far and for what I'll continue to learn.

All Ready for Radiation Finally!!!!

It been a long almost 2 months since we found out about the cancer and I'm ready to start my radiation therapy treatment. After countless tests, Dr. appointments & the set-up for radiation...Im finally ready :) My first treatment is Monday at 6:15pm but after that my appointments will be at 11:45am daily. Not bad at all.

For the radiation set-up I had another MRI done on Monday and my Doctor came in today during my x-rays to give me the results. He told me the MRI showed no nodules, lumps or evidence of regrowth :)  So thats almost 2 months after surgery and it hasn't come back yet!!!!!!!!! Praise the Lord! 

I took this picture when we were in Pennsylvania at the beginning of July

God's beauty is amazing and so soothing and peaceful!!!!!

We're spending the weekend with family and I am very excited about it.  Hope ya'll have a great weekend!

5 Years....

Nathan & I started dating 5 years ago today. I'm so thankful for my sweet hubby who has been my rock from the very beginning.  When we first started dating I was hospitalized for a week because of a nasty infection and he was at my bedside the whole time. It was then that I knew he would one day be my husband and we would be together forever. We got married just 7 months later. He has been the same supportive loving guy that he was way back then. I have definitely been so blessed with an amazing soul mate in life.

Some of our first pictures together, October 2005

Us now...5 years later :)

Cancer....

It changes your life forever.
You learn to live every moment.
You learn to love more deeply.
You learn to care for yourself, as no one else can.
You learn to prioritize, and appreciate.
You learn the will to live, keeps you going.
You learn how important family & friends really are.
You learn to appreciate the little things.
You learn that you are alone in this fight, although there are so many helping you.
You learn to say thank you to everyone, and hopefully don't have to say goodbye.

Ok the last line is a little dramatic for my liking but I saw this when we were at Ulta today. It was posted  because they are doing fundraising for breast cancer. It hit home so I took a picture of it so Id be able to  remember the words to post. But I have a few things of my own to add....

You learn to pray like you've never prayed before.
You learn to trust God 100% that he really has a wonderful, perfect plan for your life.
You learn how strong your loved ones really are.
You learn to not let some crazy little abnormal cells take away your happiness.
You learn to be so grateful for all the blessings you have in your life.
You learn to feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.
You learn you have cancer but cancer doesn't have you.

The yellow ribbon represents support of sarcoma cancers.

Radiation Set-Up

I had my appointment today for my radiation set-up. It was very tedious! I have to be in a certain position so we're sure they are radiating the target area. The position is very uncomfortable but luckily once radiation starts I'll only be in that position for a couple minutes each day :) There was two parts to today's appointment. I had a CT Scan done and molds made of my wrist, hand and arm so the postition is the same every time. They have to be so precise and so accurate. I never knew. We then took the molds over to MRI and I had that test done in the same position as the CT scan.  They'll fuse both the CT pictures and MRI pictures together to find the target area. I was there for 3 hours today but I know in the end all this will be worth it.

I also got my first tattoos today. They are 3 little dots. They also marked my arm & hand with a marker and put tape over that. It has to stay on for all 7 weeks of radiation. I hope its cold because I need to wear long sleeves..the markings are so ugly..haha!

Our weekend camping was a lot of fun. We just relaxed and enjoyed spending time with family. Nathan fished a lot even though he didn't have much luck :(  Here is my sweet hubby with a little catfish he caught.

I go back Friday for X-Rays and then hopefully I'll start next week. No word yet on when my chest CT scan will be done. Please continue to pray :) Thank you so much!

Radiation Oncologist Appointment at St Jude

I had my Radiation Oncologist appointment today.  He went over all my records and we talked about the plan of action. Its the same course of action as the City of Hope doctors. 7.5 weeks of radiation. He said the tricky part now is finding the target area for the radiation. So I'm having a CT Scan done Monday at 3 and if that doesn't yield sufficient results he said we'll then do a MRI and fuse the pictures together so they are sure they are getting the target area without radiating too many other parts of my hand because of the long term side effects.  I'm ok with the side effects...its better than losing my arm completely.

I don't know if I shared this or not but when I had my PET/CT Scan they found a tiny tiny little something in one of my lungs. None of the doctors Ive seen have been concerned with it as it was not reactive to the sugar contrast. It could have been that I moved a tiny bit during the test or something else not alarming but  the two common places for synovial sarcomas to spread is lymph nodes and lungs so this doctor wants me to have another CT Scan done of my chest just to make sure that spot hasn't grown. We're not sure when that will be done but probably in the next 2 weeks.  Again its scary but we're relieved they're taking the extra precautions because if it is something it could be treated before it gets to be too big of a problem. Please continue to pray for complete healing in my body :) Thank you!

My Momma went to todays appointment with me because Nathan had to work...This woman has been so strong and so supportive! I love her to death!

Happy 19th Birthday Josh!

Today is my not-so-little brothers 19th birthday! I cant even begin to tell you how much this kid means to us. He has been there for Nathan and I so much these past couple months...it's unbelievable. We've always been really close to him and he usually spends at least 3 nights a week over at our house but he's really been there for us lately. We cant thank him enough for it! He is a great man with a big heart. God definitely  blessed us with amazing brothers. We love you Josh and hope you have an amazing day! We're excited to celebrate with you!

Nathan & Josh way back in 2006...just got back from fishing :)

As for me...I'm doing good. I have my radiation appointment on Thursday so its been nice to have these days off where Im not terrified of the next Dr. appointment or test. My mind is much more peaceful when there isn't so much uncertainty.  But things have been great. Im enjoying spending time with my hubby and family and we're going away camping for the weekend. It'll be nice to take our travel trailer out again. We've had it for 9 months now and only have had a chance to go out twice so we're really excited about the little weekend getaway. My parents and Aunt & Uncle are going out too :) 

Thank you to everyone who continues to keep me in their daily prayers...Im so thankful!

Face-Off Fest with the Anaheim Ducks

***For those of you that don't know me very well...Im a huge hockey fan and love the Anaheim Ducks. Nathan and I go to a lot of games every year. They are so much fun!!! So this event was so exciting for me.***

Last Thursday Nathan & I went to the Anaheim Ducks Face-Off Fest at the Honda Center. Its a season ticket holder event and while we're not season ticket holders one of my friends from high school is and he gave us his tickets to this event because him and his wife couldn't make it. I was super excited!!!

We went on the Locker Room tour which was super sweet...here is my favorite players spot.

My brother and his best friends were there too! So we met up with them for awhile.

I got to meet and take a picture with my favorite player...I was so excited!!!!! He was really nice.

So happy with my autograph :)

It was such a fun night..we're thankful my friend gave us the tickets.

**There is no pictures of Nathan because he was the photographer and had the camera the whole time ;)

Back on Track :)

My Oncologist,Warren Chow, called me this morning. He let me know that the ultrasound was negative as we already knew. Which he said is great because that means no regrowth and it's been a month and a half since my surgery! Praise Jesus!!! He also let me know that my insurance did not authorize for me to have radiation done at City of Hope but rather St Jude which is my medical group. I have an appointment next Thursday and they will follow the orders laid out by the Doctors at City of Hope. In fact my new Radiation Oncologist at St Jude worked at the City of Hope for many years and Dr. Chow says he's excellent! We're really happy about that! So now we're back on track to start radiation without any further surgeries (well besides having my medi-port taken out...I called today so hopefully that will be done in the next couple of weeks so I could stop setting off store alarms...haha!) Thank you so much for your continued prayers and support! I'm forever greatful!!!

Bedtime Blessings

When I was first diagnosed my mom gave me this little book called Bedtime Blessings. For  everyday it has a little message and then scripture at the bottom. Nathan and I read it every night before we go to bed.  Its so inspirational. The night before my ultrasound and scheduled biopsy I prayed before getting into bed and just told God I didn't understand all we were going through and why I've had so many trials and up and downs in the past two and a half months. I know I may never know the answer but I trust in God's plan. So I finished praying and got into bed to read our Bedtime Blessing and I think God spoke very loud and clear to me through the little message in the book:

It hurts to endure life's trials, and it hurts worse to repeat such episodes. Yet, without those deep hurts, we have very little capacity to receive godly counsel or make forward progress toward maturity. 
Over the long haul, God is honing us through such tests. Stretching us. Breaking us. Crushing us. Reducing us to absolute. open-armed trust, where we say , "Lord, I have come to the end of my own flesh."  


The Lord also will be a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Psalm 9:9