When I was first diagnosed my mom gave me this little book called Bedtime Blessings. For everyday it has a little message and then scripture at the bottom. Nathan and I read it every night before we go to bed. Its so inspirational. The night before my ultrasound and scheduled biopsy I prayed before getting into bed and just told God I didn't understand all we were going through and why I've had so many trials and up and downs in the past two and a half months. I know I may never know the answer but I trust in God's plan. So I finished praying and got into bed to read our Bedtime Blessing and I think God spoke very loud and clear to me through the little message in the book:
It hurts to endure life's trials, and it hurts worse to repeat such episodes. Yet, without those deep hurts, we have very little capacity to receive godly counsel or make forward progress toward maturity.
Over the long haul, God is honing us through such tests. Stretching us. Breaking us. Crushing us. Reducing us to absolute. open-armed trust, where we say , "Lord, I have come to the end of my own flesh."
The Lord also will be a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Psalm 9:9