Thursday, October 21, 2010


I had my 4th radiation treatment today and its going good. The drive is about 50 miles round trip so that isn't so fun but I go during a time of day when there is no traffic either direction which is pretty amazing being that this is Southern California we're talking about. Im starting to get used to it. They still have to line me up just right, take film each time, find the Dr., he approves the placement, and then treatment begins. So its about a 30 minute process once I get back in the radiation room.

These past few days have been a little hard on me and I find myself needing to reach out and rely on my faith and know that God's plan for my life is in action no matter how much I dislike that plan right now. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still scared but when I sit back and look at the big picture Im not so frightened. Things aren't that bad. They could be way worse. I have a loving and super supportive husband, an amazing family, a place to sleep at night, food to eat, clothes to wear, a car to drive, Im happy, Im not on my death bed, so many of my prayers have been answered and the list goes on & on. Im blessed. At times when this all seems too much to handle I think of all that I do have and I don't feel so bad or sad after all.  God is good and faithful. Last weekend my aunt shared a little saying with me and its helped me through the hard times this week.

I cant, He can, So let him its just like another one of my favorite sayings Let go & Let God

I've learned we weren't meant to go through life's hardships alone. He's right by our side, helping us.  I turn my fears and problems to him when I feel I cant handle them because I know he can. I know this week has been harder because its new and I have to get used to this adjustment..I know it'll get easier with time.

This is what my radiation machine looks like. Its called a linear accelerator. The first time I walked into the room I was a bit intimidated by this huge machine and the 15 inch thick door for the room but now its no big deal :) I lay on the table on my stomach with my arm above my head and get my treatment. I feel no pain during or after my treatment. Its not so bad !

I go tomorrow for my last treatment of the week. Then it'll be 1 week down, 6 1/2 to go :)

1 comment:

  1. Vanessa, you continue to inspire me. Your strength and your trust in God strengthens me. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. My Mom gave me a litte cross to carry in my pocket when I moved. Inscribed on the back it says "Do not be afraid, I am with you Always". Sometimes I thumb it in my pocket to remind me. Its SO awesome that you don't need the reminder. Praying for you every day. May God Bless you and keep you safe.